checking in

July 11, 2013 Where are we now…Bernie is falling more and definitely more unsteady, his eye are losing their ability to move especially down, and he is having a hard time focusing. Bernie has also had some bouts with other issues but I don’t want to say everything is related to PSP but I am unsure whether it is or isn’t so we just deal with it. He has had several weeks or bowel incontinence where he will just have diarrhea anywhere from 2 to 4 days, he has had this 4 weeks in a row at one point and now for the last month no loose stools. His apathy is worsening, his lack of interest in most things is very noticeable, he is only interested in his morning papers (which take all day to read now), and he is hooked on HGTV! He stays up late and would probably stay up all night if I didn’t hound him to come to bed. I keep telling him that sleep and rest is good for his overall health and well being but it doesn’t seem to matter to him. It is at the point where it is starting to affect me and I hate that because this is not about me, but I find myself angry at times about everything that is happening, frustrated that he can’t help me help him, and lonely as I miss the man he use to be. The progression of the illness is taking the best of him and I can’t do anything to stop it. I need to stop writing now……..