Turning Point

I think we have come upon a turning point, it use to be that Bernie would have a bad week or so when a progression would take place, then he would start to get back to his old self again, well that’s not happening. Now it seems that his old self is not there. He looks different now, he actually looks like something is amiss, his eyes are glassy and droopy, I find him sitting with them closed a lot. He rarely talks anymore and when he does it is so hard to hear and understand him. I have seen the changes in him over the years but until now I would not worry so much, I knew that with every progression period that he would change a bit but I don’t think I was prepared for it (as I thought I would be). Even my daughter noticed and is having a hard time with it, it will take us awhile to adjust I’m sure. My children have been great with their father, helping him when he needs it whether that means helping him up after a fall, carrying an item for him or driving him around, they have been great. The other night my son helped Bernie shave his neck, it was bitter sweet to come across them in the bathroom. This man was such an out going fun loving person and the life of every party we attended which makes it even harder to watch this devastating deterioration of this once marathon runner.
I haven’t told him about my blogging yet, I am keeping it to myself for now, I didn’t tell the kids either just two of my sisters who don’t live near me. I’m not sure I want him to read my thoughts yet. We have all been dealing well with this illness but especially Bernie, I am amazed how he fights it each and everyday. I pray for strength for all of us daily and so far those prayers have been answered.
Recent changes;
Droopy eyes, red, watery, and closed a lot to the point of having to use his fingers to open them sometimes
Very low voice, extremely hard to hear, very quiet lately
Many falls over the last few months and states he feels very unsteady
A bit of insomnia, late nights watching TV , can’t say if he’s napping during the day because I am not here but I hope so
Taking much longer to eat a meal, and doesn’t seem to eat as much